Continental Breakfast

by Josey Miller

Imagine what it would be like to attend a county fair in the Hamptons: chic urbanites in their tailored bermuda shorts, short-sleeve button downs and Jimmy Choo wedge sandals… wandering from merry-go-round to animal exhibit with their Stepford children while nibbling on baked goods courtesy of Ina Garten herself… I bet they’d even cast the carnies.

The Orange County Fair is nothing like that.

Most fairs are nothing like that.

But they’re still a great way to spend a summer Saturday – if you manage your expectations. Here’s the reality of most fairs:

A 6′4″ burly-looking man sporting a tank top and several tattooes hunches over to hold the hand of his pig-tailed two-year-old as they slowly walk from the Jalopy Junction ride to the Bounce Around. Goth teenage girls wander by the ubiquitous stands selling hot tubs and cell phones, devouring Italian sausage and funnel cake as they enjoy an authority-free day in the sticky July heat. Competitive dads challenge each other at carnival games on the midway, such as Basketball Shot and Ball Toss to win their kids stuffed animals… or not. [Note: Since when does each attempt cost $5 instead of $1? Jeff thought he saw one dad pulling out his credit card. Check out this guide on how to beat the odds.]

The 4H elders serve up fresh mac-n-cheese next door to the stables where the Holstein dairy cows and other livestock are on display, alongside their blue ribbons. [Here's a fun fact, courtesy of one 4H-er: Did you know it's perfectly normal for certain breeds of sheep to have up to six horns? The judging rules only dictate that they must have an even number.]

Those animals are the highlight of any fair for adults and kids alike. I even paid fifty cents at a “step right up”-type tent to pet a three-foot-tall, doe-eyed miniature horse a la Thumbelina. The racing pigs are always entertaining. And while a fair is not a fair without a petting zoo complete with goats, sheep and llamas, I’ve never before seen a giraffe-feeding area. Kids delighted in watching their long, black tongues stretch and squirm to reach carrot sticks. (Parents: Don’t leave home without your camera and Purell.) I did, however, miss the Disc Dog-a-Thon we caught a few years back at the New Jersey State Fair.

Just for fun, Jeff asked the jovial woman at the lemonade stand – the wife of the Beer Bottle Alley game host (naturally) – for their recipe… though consider yourself warned: Both she and her husband were missing most of their teeth.

County Fair Lemonade

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup Realemon

3 cups water

1 lemon, quartered

(serve over crushed ice)

More Middletown-Area Tips:

• Grab a slice of small-town Americana in nearby Pine Bush, New York by dining at Restaurant Repast (72 Main Street). There’s even a retro homemade ice-cream stand down the street with picnic-table seating for a post-dinner treat.
• One of New York state’s few remaining drive-in movie theaters, Fair Oaks Drive-in, is located in Middletown. It’s the closest drive-in movie theater to New York City.

P.S. A special thanks to Mother Nature for making this all possible.

by Josey Miller

I have a summer health disorder: I believe the technical term is shpilkes in my geneckteckessoint.  If I don’t do something “summery” every weekend (or at least every other), I feel like I’m “wasting” the summer. 

So last Sunday, I dragged Jeff on a one-hour train ride from New York City to Rowayton, Connecticut–despite the sticker shock of a $39 fee for two round-trip tickets on Metro North.  (I told him we’d just have to have $39 worth of fun.  He glared at me endearingly–if there’s such thing as an endearing glare–and went back to his business school homework.)

That morning, while surfing the Internet over coffee, I found Rowayton listed as a fun spot for renting bikes or kayaks.  Given my midwestern roots, I’m a sucker for quaint villages with a New England feel with white picket fences and porches–especially ones that sit right on the water.  And we had the chance to see a lot of this one during our surprise 20-minute walk from the train station to town.  (Parents take heed: The sidewalks are few and far between.) 

We didn’t notice a bike rental place when we arrived, but I’m not sure where we would have biked anyway since Rowayton is so small.  In fact, there are so few shops and restaurants I could easily count them on one hand.  But we picked up a chicken sandwich and a Greek salad at  Rowayton Pizza, and that worked out fine.  In fact, the reasonable price of our lunch — under $20, including a Gatorade and a Snapple – was a refreshing contrast to those train tickets.  We walked down to the marina and ate on a pier while we watched the boats go by.

Next we found Downunder Kayaking.  Although we didn’t make reservations (which you should), we were fortunate enough to land a bright green Malibu Two ($45) so we could kayak together. It was a bit draining given the 81-degree temps and the occasional boat wake, but it was still incredibly relaxing.  We kayaked from the Five Mile River (isn’t it really an inlet?) out to the open water of the Long Island Sound, and it was fun to fantasize about what it would be like to live in the cliffside mansions.  But the best part was discovering the stagnant water near Butlers Island Road; it felt like we’d been transported to a Lousiana bayou.

After an hour and a half we’d had our fill.  We returned our kayak and walked back to the train station in time to catch the 5:45 — and we were home in time to grab take-out from our favorite Greenwich Village Chinese restaurant.